Roostercogburn
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How to score free food at McDonaldsEver notice how hard it is to get good service at a McDonald’s drive-thru? To the minimum wage employee inside, you’re just another faceless customer, a cold impersonal experience. But it doesn’t have to be that way. After all, a drive-thru menu is actually a lot like a cell phone! I mean, it has a camera, a microphone for talking and a speaker for listening. And when Apple unrolls its Big Mac application in 2010, there will hardly be any difference between the devices at all. So why not apply this Sexting Technique to your advantage?
EMPLOYEE
Welcome to McDonald’s. May I take your order?
YOU
Can you see me?
EMPLOYEE
What?
YOU
Can you see me?
EMPLOYEE
Yes?
YOU
Good then let me open my car door and ask you a question: What kind of pants am I wearing?
EMPLOYEE
What kind of pants? I don’t- oh, dear God! You’re not wearing pants.
YOU
That’s right, baby. Why don’t you take off that headset and come supersize me?
EMPLOYEE
Please sir, I’ll be forced to get my manager.
YOU
Oh, no can do, baby. I want you all to myself… unless–how sexist of me–is your manager… a lady?
EMPLOYEE
Please just order something, sir. You must see something you want.
YOU
Oh, I do. What’s your cell phone number?
EMPLOYEE
Look, if I just give you a Big Mac, will you please go away?
YOU
I think you’ve already given me a Big Mac, if you know what I mean.
EMPLOYEE
Ugh. Gross.
YOU
Can I get fries with that?
EMPLOYEE
Please, just drive up, take your free food and get out of here!
YOU
Voilą! 
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